Yesterday we flew on a plane.
We flew on a plane at 3:30PM. We were SUPPOSED to fly on a plane at 8:20AM.
It is 4:10AM and I am awake getting ready for our early morning flight. We are flying down to Florida to see THE FAM. Son will be leaving from Brooklyn to meet us there. Even though we are not leaving the house until 6:30AM, I am awake doing all the things that one does before leaving for vacation.
Time passes very quickly and soon it is time to go to the airport.
This year, we are taking a Lyft. Nice Lyft Driver gets to the house in eight minutes and helps us with our bags. On the way to the airport we get to listen to early morning radio. It is very funny. I did not know early morning radio was so funny since I am generally not an early morning radio person.
When we get to the airport I text son: There?
Son texts a picture of him on the plane.
We get to the gate and we are boarding! Counter Guy makes daughter check her bag even though it is CLEARLY regulation size. I think about making a scene, but ok, I do not.
And we are on.
And it is 8:20.
And we are sitting.
A few more minutes and an announcement happens. Something about navigation system computer and we should be on our way shortly. Ok. I sit back and wait.
Philly is next to me and in front of him is TALKER GUY. Talker Guy is talking away to the guy next to him about traffic circles vs. traffic lights and four knee surgeries and pretty much anything that comes to his mind. Philly is having a little chuckle to himself at his luck of sitting behind Talker Guy. It is not like Philly to laugh out loud but he does laugh out loud.
A long SHORTLY passes and another announcement happens. Something about resetting the system. I am getting concerned. It is usually NOT GOOD when you are sitting on the tarmac and SHORTLY becomes not-so-shortly.
Now they are going to try turning the whole plane off and back on. This is when my mind says: You will be getting off this plane.
And…YES! Turning the plane on and off again does not work and the next announcement is: We will be deplaning.
Inside I am having a tantrum. Now we need a new plane. Now anything can happen. This is why I used to hate traveling for business.
We get all our stuff and we get off the plane. I say a little prayer that it won’t be too long before we are on our way.
We wait again. When 9:30 departure turns into 2:30 departure the whole gateful of people moans out loud. I start making the texts and calls necessary to arrange for someone to meet son at the airport since we apparently will not be meeting him there. I try to plug my charger into an outlet. I cannot get it plugged in. I cannot get it plugged in because the outlet is just a sticker-picture of an outlet.
Can you believe this?
Some joker put up a sticker-picture of an outlet at the airport. As if people needed more reasons to be annoyed while sitting at the airport.
I talk to BROTHER. Brother is really a nice guy. I do not even have to ask for a son pick up. Brother just offers up the Brother Wife to go pick up son. Brother Wife is also a very nice woman. She drives all the way to the airport to get son.
The airline is doing their best to make nice. They bring out snacks. Eventually they bring out sandwiches and drinks. Daughter is sitting next to me at the electronic bar playing FINGER SKATE, a game it seems impossible to win.
And we wait.
A cute young guy is sitting across from daughter.
I text her: That guy is cute.
She texts: I knew you were going to say that.
Some people have spread out to actual alcohol bars. Because if you are a drinker, a plane delay is a very good time to get drunk. Just FYI.
All the Airport Bar People are slowly getting louder. I feel a little afraid of what state they might be in when we finally do get a plane that works. I hope that time is today not tomorrow. I start to worry it might be tomorrow.
I go over to the CUSTOMER SERVICE desk to see if there are any other flights. The answer is no. Unless I want to fly to Orlando, which I do not.
Now it is getting close to 2:30. Still no announcement.
Then an announcement: We are switching gates. I take this as a good sign that we might in fact be leaving sometime soon. It is getting close to six hours since our scheduled departure time and I am starting to get the AIRPORT CRANKIES.
The entire gaggle of people from our plane gets up and shuffles down to the new gate. Everyone crowds right at the entrance spot. Three times GATE LADY has to chastise the overly eager and loudly drunk passengers to back it up. I just stand with daughter, a little bit back, but ready for the stage crush.
There is an actual plane at the gate. And it is not the old broken plane. A new departure time is put up: 3:15PM. Since there are two Gate Ladies at the gate, I believe we really are going to depart.
And…Boarding is announced! We will board the plane, again. This time we will stay on the plane and fly to Florida. I am tired reader. I am tired and I have lost a whole day of my short-ish vacation to see The Fam. I get on the plane and just pray to STAY on the plane.
My prayer works! We stay on the plane. We fly to Florida. We get daughter’s unfairly checked bag off the luggage carousel. We get the car. And we drive 45 minutes to meet up with son and The Fam.
I do not have much left in the tank. We meet up at a junky fast food place. I just need food. I am glad to see them. And I am glad we are here. And I am very glad this day is almost over. Because I want to start my vacation.
Even if we DID have fun in the airport.
I am done now.
I say it out loud: Yes, I am.